No, when your movie is this bad, you’re not allowed to make that claim!
Director: Rachel Goldenberg
These people are in it: Ben Snyder (Holmes), Gareth David-Lloyd (Watson), Dominic Keating (Thorpe Holmes)
Oh for the love of … and what’s up what that ^ collar?!
I did it, I finally did it. I actually watched this movie. It’s been haunting my every move for months (on Netflix). However, I knew I could not do it alone. No, if I was going to watch this, I was damn well going to take someone down with me. Indeed, I found two willing someones (the poor sods never stood a chance).
What fresh Hell is this?
Yes, this movie is truly abysmal. It was produced by The Asylum, so I had fair warning. The acting is a disgrace; I’d say the two leads were miscast, but that would be to acknowledge that what Helen Pritchard did was “casting”. I thought maybe the prospect of dinosaurs terrorizing London would be amusing, but I quickly began to root for them to eat Holmes and Watson.
Faster Toothy, kill, kill!
There are several low-budget ways in which this movie could have been made acceptable, but I’m already too tired to enumerate them. I’m going to go try to forget I ever watched this.
Sherlock’s real name is Robert Holmes?! Excuse me while I go cry in a corner …
The Bottom Line: Our attempts to riff this movie quickly devolved into groans of mental anguish and Stockholm Syndrome-esque nervous laughter. Avoid at all costs–do not let our suffering have been in vain.
